Minuend, Subtrahend, Difference : This is the starting number, the one you take something away from. Subtrahend: This is the number you are subtracting from the minuend. Difference: This is the final answer you get after performing the subtraction.

I was the minuend. You, 

the subtrehend. The difference, 

all I have left. More than I could count.

How could I have qualified to be

the starting number. Before 

something is taken away.

You have made me an orphan 

of the heart. I kept learning 

the harsh arithmetic of being left

with the difference. After the funeral

all those flowers and people telling

themselves they are helping.

Thank you, I said, over and over.

There is no sleep like the sleep 

of the minuend with its subtrahend removed.

Difference beings learning, an unforgiving poison

I would become addicted to.

White flowers. Lavender flowers.

Faces who cannot understand 

difference in the mathematics of the heart.

Listen: I can add on my fingers

but I cannot survive the amputation

of a reason to live. 

If there is any way to reach you,

I want to

call out and hear your voice.