Sonnet DRAFT

What I meant to say and could not say was you frighten me with anger

About to go off at any moment and be my fault your eye rage

Piercing my well-honed tap dancing for smothering unexplainably

What's next how well trained am I in survival mode with shlepped confidence 

Bought into by logic apart from smothered heart my child fear restarts

What I meant never to share but here goes is this pattern resurfacing

Facing my not facing how it feels even to dream inhuman blasts

I'm sure await my being seen by this cruel, fractured authority

Lacking proof since no one remembers anything except the barbed wire

Around a child's heart that stays a child apart from muscular kind love

Please don't rescue please build me a way toward the tall precipice

Where oh where has safety parked its desirable shapely legs forming

A compass to guide me to run away from the horror that voiced face

What I meant to say if there is a God please lead me safely away